On showing off…
What is the difference between showing off, self-expression or art? What is ego-masturbation and what is pure, creative expression of spirit?
Is it either or? And who gets to decide?
To celebrate ourselves and allow our inner worlds to become transparent, to share our spirit and current inspiration generously with the world, to make poetry with life through all the wonderful ways we can express ourselves – this is our birthright. This includes the right to express our sexuality – the mystery connected to our core essence and very existence.
I have blocked my impulse to express myself so many times. Why? That little whisper, ever-ready to intervene… “Don’t be a show off! They will think you are showing off.”
In a world full of hollow narcism, where the constant need to feed off the validation from others is all around us, we are losing the art of soulful self-expression. When it comes to women and sexuality, we are so saturated with images of women seen through the male gaze, conforming to stereotypes of beauty, images whose primary intention is to seek comfort and validation through being desired, that many of us don’t even dare to try.
I know that on one level this goes beyond gender, however I think that women have a particularly hard time in their ability to express themselves, as the judgments are fiercer. When I listen to the inner critic inside me, it rings of an old paradigm, still lingering, in which women are meant to keep quiet and behave. Don’t flaunt it. Don’t draw attention to yourself. Tone it down. Stop trying to get attention. Stop being slutty. And if you want to be slutty, make sure it’s under the power of men.
Fuck it. Let’s be bold. Every time we dare, we strengthen our resolve to stop staying small. We liberate ourselves from the prison of our social conditioning and move towards becoming more sovereign beings, self-responsible for our own power. We unleash our essence into the world and it feels good! And we might inspire someone else to cultivate their self-expression beyond the influence of fear.
Let’s be mindful of the source and the intentions behind our expression but not allow ourselves to become neurotic with self-doubt. The ego is not our enemy, it can function as our friend, if we stay in compassionate self-awareness. Remembering that the response of those who criticise, often says more about them, than it does about us
by Ruby May